Sender : Shack
Today was just like any other day. I woke up at 10.00 am, it was the weekend. So why not sleep a little longer? I think I deserve the extra sleep after a tiring week. My friends invited me for a night out last night, I passed. I am tired remember. The infamous, “I’m not feeling very well” excuse was given without further thought.
Then suddenly I felt naughty. This strange feeling was right after reading today’s headlines on my news feed. I owe you some context, I dwell in politics. Sometimes because I want to, sometimes because I have to. Malaysian politics is something I love getting my head into. Giving out comments and feedback on how things roll on a day to day basis. To be honest, I have not had one dry day without something interesting happening in the country. Politics at home, work and social life is something I have no control over. All the dramas and plays can be exhausting, but I still need to endure them.
Let’s get back to the strange naughty feeling I had today morning. I felt like being a bit more indulgent. I wanted to let everyone know how I feel about Malaysian politics. I felt very... SEDITIOUS. I am no stranger to news of getting in the wrong books of the government. Plenty of vocal individuals have landed themselves behind bars and splashed with colors of shame and hate. I also know why some of them are persistent with their ‘seditious’ efforts. They’ve had enough. This new-strange-naughty feeling is not new to them, it is already their kink, their norm.
So then I decided, I am going to show my support for the BERSIH 4 rally that is going to take place today and tomorrow! But mind you, as soaring as my courage was, I could not physically be present among my ‘siblings’ in Kuala Lumpur. I had to stay at home due to certain commitments. But nevertheless, my intention was still as real. So, I put my mediocre designing skills to good use and designed a poster. Showing my solidarity alongside the heroes of Malaya.
I posted the yellow “Keep calm and clean Malaysia” poster on my Facebook wall. But before I clicked on the Post button, I took few seconds to remind myself of the consequences that may hit me hard on my face. Youths are frequently being hauled by the police to ‘investigate’ their ‘seditious behavior’. Even the Inspector General of Police uses the Twitter handle @KBAB51 to personally monitor these ‘seditious’ activities. Intolerable in the eyes of the law some may argue, mostly from the sitting government’s backbenchers club. But then I remembered this one saying I read from an article a while ago, “conflict is necessary for change to take effect”. That was when I realized, that my naughtiness was unstoppable. I was prepared to be judged for my naughty behavior.
I hit the Post button! I felt like I touched a naked live wire, it was electrifying. I couldn’t stop myself. I even inserted the #BERSIH4 hashtag to join the trend, a trend to show ones solidarity of course. I forced myself to sleep that night. “There was no going back...” That is what I remember telling myself before falling unconscious, into deep sleep.
It was Day 2! I woke up in the morning with a guilty feeling. It felt like I just committed a crime, a crime of a heightened stature. But it felt good. It made me feel true to myself. A necessary evil. I then knew that, this could be a new beginning for me. Maybe it’s time for me to remain ‘seditious’. Be one of those kinky beings chanting BERSIH! BERSIH! in the streets of Kuala Lumpur.
I went to the beach that day. A Sunday. It almost sounds clichéd to go to the beach on a Sunday with family or friends. We had fun! Swimming and building sandcastles with my annoying elder sister. My dad joined us too. I am glad that he is exploring the younger side of him these days. Mom was munching on sunflower seeds as usual, with her shades on. It was getting dark, so we decided to leave. As we were about to leave, I saw this one worn down Malaysian flag, attached to a fisherman’s sampan. I shivered as I felt my heart tingling of this newly found naughtiness. The seditious side of me resurfaced. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of it. It didn’t take me long to insert some text on the picture. It wasn’t difficult. I own a smartphone like every other youth these days. I posted this on Instagram.
As I posted the picture online, it then dawned upon me, I am a seditionist. The one day that turned into a lifetime. I think I’m going to enjoy this newly-found naughtiness.